True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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