How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
