You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
