I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
