It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
