So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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