remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
