Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
