how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
