I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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