Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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