Yo dont text me then not text me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My feet surprised me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
