Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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