Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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