She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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