Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
