I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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