if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
