Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
In America we eat man semen.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
