Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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