So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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