Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
