Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
