He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
