if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
