apparently the secret to your success is patron
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
