There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
