piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
