So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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