You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
