i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We are two peas in an std pod
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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