He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
