i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
