You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
