so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
