i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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