Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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