my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
