how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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