I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Randomize
