your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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