there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
