It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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