I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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