I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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