these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
