Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
