Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
