The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
