Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
