I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
